Feeling Through Live • Episode 43: Feeling Through at the Oscars

[Doug]: Hello everyone, welcome to Feeling Through Live. We've taken a little time off, but we are excited to be back. The reason we've taken some time off is because you might've heard, we were nominated for an Oscar, and we were going through quite a lengthy campaign process. Something that was an amazing process, a very time consuming one, but one that we were really grateful for that journey. And we thought  now that, that  that part of the journey has come to a close, it would be a great opportunity to sit down with Robert, and  Robert to talk about your experience over the last several months. So before we get started  I'd love to just set things up for anyone who maybe doesn't really know what's been going on in the last  several months here, but  we we've been screening Feeling Through for quite a while now. We were sharing it  as part of the Feeling Through Experience which was our fully accessible screening event that we were taking around the country first, prior to the pandemic, we were doing it in person. And then later on, we were doing it  virtually for people. And then we were also showing the film in film festivals and sharing it with audiences across the country and around the world through film festivals. But then we had an opportunity to submit for the Academy awards. And this was the first time for me. I didn't really know what to expect, but we were very fortunate to make it all the way to the actual award show as an Academy award nominee. And  basically that for the last number of months, we've been doing a lot of interviews to promote the film, to give people more context about  what the film is and, and all of the interesting details around it.  And we've had to learn so much more about how to communicate all of the different topics around the film to people. So that's all the context, now I want to talk to you, Robert, and  let's just go back to right at the beginning of this Oscar campaign. I just want to know what was running through your head the first time I told you that we were going to submit to the Oscars in the first place. This is Robert speaking. I do remember that.  

[Robert]: And I thought, who am I, goodness, wow, are we really going through that? And of course, through all of the screenings, and then when the mention of the Oscars came up, I was like, wow. And to believe that we actually made it to the top five, that was unbelievable. I couldn't believe that our film made it that far. Honestly, it was such a great time being together, doing all of that campaigning and posting all those interviews. And then ultimately going to Los Angeles was amazing. I mean, honestly, that was the first time for me. I mean, being there with all of those movie stars who was unbelievable, I just, it was a once in a lifetime experience. So yeah, when we got to the actual Oscars, when we get to actually touch the red carpet and look around and see all those people, it was amazing for me to be able to walk the red carpet with my cane, with all those people and just go in and sit down.  It was on believable. I mean, again, I can't believe where we've come and how many people are now looking at me as a DeafBlind person as an actor on par in Hollywood. That's just such an accomplishment to see all of these really famous people with me sitting there. And again, it was unfortunate that we didn't win, but the reality is that we were there. And it was also unfortunate in that we didn't have the same  audience as previous years. And we were separated by all of the tables that we were because of the pandemic. But nonetheless, it was an amazing night. I mean that whole day. And I  I'm just hopeful that you, Doug are going to be making more movies and see where we end up.  

[Doug]: Well, Robert, you, you  definitely did a great summary there, of, of these last number of months, but I want to kind of walk back a little bit and take it step by step for a moment. And  we've done so many interviews  have had so many conversations with people about the film, about your experience. I want to know  if, if any of these conversations or interviews have stood out to you in particular,  

[Robert]: I think the interview that we had honestly, was the one with Whoopi Goldberg. She's my Mom's favorite actress. So for me, that was the first time that I actually had met somebody famous. And for my Mom, she was like, what you're interviewing with Whoopi Goldberg. So interviewing with her favorite actress, I think for me is what stood out the most. Because up until that point, I had never met anyone famous and certainly had never been interviewed in that way. And I think so for me, that was the starting point of this. And I think that the interviews were really an important part for us and I really enjoyed doing them. I had never experienced anything like that  so for myself as a DeafBlind person being interviewed by people of that caliber, I think again, was important. And I think those interviews really made an impact. So for me, I think that was the starting point. And I also think that my communication since that point and my ability to express myself has grown since that time  

[Doug]: You're hitting the nail on the head, as far as how much you've grown as, as a public speaker. I mean, you and I have been doing conversations now for  pretty consistently for the last year and a half or more. And  I've, I've seen you blossom and flourish into this amazing public speaker. You're so eloquent. You're so poised, you're so  you're so personal and intimate and the details that you share that have really moved people. And I want to know  what is it that's made you grow? So much as a speaker,  

[Robert]: I think before COVID honestly  I had no access to communication, honestly  through the whole pandemic, my family doesn't sign very much. I mean, we understand each other, but again, full-on access to communication is not something that I really had. We share important facts, not everyday conversation. And I think  for me, the ability to do this, inviting me in this helped improve my communication as whole. And every time we did it, I just got better and better and better. And again, for me, I wanted to make sure that what we showed the world is what DeafBlind people can do. And so that hearing people would partner with us, regardless of whether we're deaf or hearing or DeafBlind , that this kind of forum would help us all communicate better. So I think not only that my communication got better, but our ability to communicate as a whole got better.  

[Doug]: Yeah. That's, that's so well said, Robert, we talk all the time, but I didn't really know the specific reasons behind  how, why you flourish so much. That's really interesting too, to know more of the details about that  and I'm, I'm thinking of  one moment in particular that stands out for me just off the top of my head is when we had the panel discussion with Colman Domingo who was hosting it, who's the  you know, a great actor  from shows like the walking dead and the movie, my rainy. And I remember toward the end of that conversation he, he asked you something to the effect of  what your experience had been like, and you gave this like three minute beautiful speech about what it how important it is for you to have people understand that we're all one that we're all connected and to see to see your humanity and not just see you for your disability. And I mean, it was so poetic that you had Coleman  you know, in tears at the end. And now I just saw you just grow and blossom to be this someone that was quite literally moving people to tears with your, with your  what you had to say.  

[Robert]: I think it's important. Again, I've felt so connected and I think for someone like Coleman, who's so famous. I think it's really important to open that dialogue. Because again, I think communicating is what's key and not brushing people off, but bringing them into the fold. Because again, we are all children of the world. We all need to make that connection. We need to support each other. We need to talk to each other better. And you know, for me, people have told me all my life, you plant do this, whatever this was, but it was always you can't. But in partnership with you, how we all work together, you saw me made that connection and look at where we are now I can do it. And I want to represent that to everyone who thinks people who are deaf or DeafBlind or blind people say that we can't do things we can, we all rely on each other. So I think it's important for executives to look at this and say, Oh my goodness, I never thought about someone, definitely deaf and blind doing this, and to focus on the positive and not the negative. I think this world is way too much negative in it. And I think that we need to focus on the positive and I want those people, especially those that are really famous to look at me and go, huh, look at our relationship. Doug, look at this perfect sort of union and how we made this work, and now they can do it. Robert we've I've known  

[Doug]: You now for almost three years, if we go back to the very beginning of this process. So I want you to take a moment to think back on Robert three years ago, to Robert who's now been in a film that millions of people have seen, has talked at dozens and dozens of events has been to the Oscars. You know what, when you look back three years ago to now how does that make you feel and what, what comes up for you?  

[Robert]: Well three years ago I was working in a kitchen I was just a regular guy. And again, when you think about the world now, when we went to this I'm an actor I've been seen now around the world as a DeafBlind person, as an actor. And I hope that people recognize that and that I can use that to move forward. I mean, I've had these opportunities with these interviews. And when I think about that going, I'm going to be a movie star. And I'm like, like I was just at the Oscars. I just didn't realize then the opportunity that I would have now. And so how I feel about Feeling Through it's proud and I'm inspired and the connection is unbelievable and it has truly changed my life. And I hope that I can use this platform and keep moving forward. And again, what I really hope that others take away is again, and it keeps saying it over and over again is what deaf and DeafBlind people can do if we support one another. And if we love each other, and if we don't tear each other down, it's important that we support one another and look at the growth from then to now. And again, when I look at all of these other famous people at this event, seeing me there, I hope that we can all work together.  

[Doug]: Well, let's talk about the Oscars for a moment. I want to know what you expected the Oscars to be versus what the actual experience was like for you.  

[Robert]: I think in my mind, I guess I had a hard time thinking about what it would look like, because you have to remember that my vision of the Oscars is what the Oscars was like pre pandemic. The excitement was still there regardless. But I think what I thought they would be was different because we were all sort of kept separate. But the actual sitting in that chair, I was like, Oh my God, is this really what this is about? You know, to make it to the top five films in our category was an immense sense of pride. So to sit in that chair, comparative to where I was to where I am just was one of those once in a lifetime wow. Experiences looking around the room, seeing how it was set up, seeing all these incredibly famous gifted people in that room just made me feel proud. It was an amazing experience. And I don't know that I'll ever feel that way again, but for me it was like, yes, I mean,  

[Doug]: Robert, let's go. I want you to kind of walk people for people who aren't necessarily familiar with the, like the, all of the different parts of the event or what the lead up to it looks like. Can you just walk us through from you getting ready for the event all the way through the night itself and just kind of like talk about what stands out to you in your memory and what the best parts were from the very beginning to the very end  

[Robert]: So I got dressed, got into my tux got all ready and got my hair done. And then there was a gentleman there who was taking professional pictures for us, and I was like, what's going on? And there was a lot of pictures being taken. And then we went outside and we did even more pictures. I met with my interpreters and we also group photographs and the interpreters themselves were getting ready and having their hair and makeup done. We went out onto our patio. The group was just really excited. And of course, again, more and more and more pictures. So I felt really good. Then we got into  sort of a really large truck went in through security checkpoints. There were a lot of checkpoints by the way, we had to make our way through. And then we ultimately did get out and started walking to the event itself at the onset. There were a number of reporters there doing interviews. Again, I have no basis of comparison, but it was really enjoyable for me. And then you saw the actual red carpet and you sort of stepped onto it. And for me walking the red carpet with my cane as a definitely versa, I think was pretty incredible.  

[Doug]: And Robert, we had, we'd learned about this prior to the event, but to our knowledge  you very well, might've been only the second person who's DeafBlind to attend the ceremony other than Helen Keller who did so back in 1956, when she was  when she was there to accept the award for a documentary that was about her life. What what goes through your mind when you hear something like, perhaps you might have perhaps been only the second person who's DeafBlind ever to attend the awards.  

[Robert]: Right? You mentioned that in 1956, Helen Keller herself was the first person who went  and she got that award based on her life. But you want to think about how many years have passed since that I'm only the second person to ever represent our community in quite a while was really amazing. And I think that I was representing not only myself, but Helen Keller Services who was co nominated with you. So I just really, again, I keep saying the same thing over and over again, but I hope that there are more and more people. And I hope that the third person isn't that much farther ahead of me,  

[Doug]: You know, leading up to the event there, there were four other films that were nominated in our category. I'm  just wondering when we were sitting there in the room once the show started and they start doing start going through the different categories, were you nervous? Were you excited? Both? How are you feeling at that time?  

[Robert]: Well when I sat there, I'm just talking about our category. When I heard our name, I just sat there with my fingers, crossed to see what would happen. I mean, really literally with my fingers and toes, I was ready, ready to win. And then when it went to one of our competitors of course I clapped for them because I wanted to be supportive, but I was like, Oh, I really wanted that to be us. For us, I feel good for the winner because I think win or lose, we should all feel incredibly proud of what we did. Any one of those five nominees, all of us felt the same way. We all wanted to win and only one was going to win. So I'm proud of what we did. I'm just proud of it.  

[Doug]: So we talked about  you know, you coming down the red carpet  with all the, the media there, us actually being, sitting inside the room for the ceremony itself. Afterwards we went into a courtyard to eat and socialize. Were there any moments  during that time that stand out for you?  

[Robert]: Hmm. I think waiting for a Marlee and Jack, I think who's probably hugging them and chatting with them for a while was probably the one thing that I was absolutely waiting for. And then when we went in and sat in that screening and they were trying to do that  fake thing that they were doing for promotion, I guess it was, it was some kind of commercial. I have no idea what was going on in that we had to pretend to act like we were in a movie theater. I was like, what is that? So that stands out to me. But yeah, I think that's what I remember most. We talked to Marlee and Jack for quite awhile, and I really enjoyed that and then watching the other categories  again, I will never ever forget just being there and what that felt like, particularly in that room. So I know that they wanted us to act scared in doing that commercial or whatever it was they were doing. So I think it was fun doing that. But that's what I remember. Yeah.  

[Doug]: And you're referring to, there was a booth  that was set up where we  where we were in a, in a movie theater pretending to watch a scary movie and react to it, which we all did together as, as a team  all the whole Feeling Through team, which was quite fun. But yet you were talking about meeting Marlee Matlin, our Executive Producer, and as well as Jack Jason, our  another executive producer. And though we've had many Zoom conversations alongside them, this was your first opportunity to meet them in person, right?  

[Robert]: Yes. Yes. That was my first time to meet Marlee and Jack face to face finally, in person so much better than zoom. It was really nice to meet such a famous deaf actor and her winning the Academy award herself was amazing to hug her and chat with her for quite a while. I wish I would've had more time, but of course we were at the Oscars and everybody had a lot of things to do so again, it was great forming that connection with both she and Jack. And I think that Doug, you would feel the same way.  

[Doug]: Well, I think people probably want to know how's the, how is the food at the Oscars? Is it good?  

[Robert]: It was very good. It had never actually eaten things like that. It was very fancy. It was set up in like quadrants and it was really interesting to kind of look at, but yeah, it was delicious. Everything was great. Yeah. And they also had an appetizer set  before we had got there. And that was again, very fancy something in the shape of an Oscar. And there were a ton of people milling around to chatting with each other. And again, I just thought it's just never something that I've ever experienced like that. And again, I know that this was a smaller setting comparative to previous years because of COVID, but it was amazing.  

[Doug]: So the Oscars are behind us and again, although we didn't win, as you were saying, Robert, it was really an honor to be a part of the ceremony  you know, to be honored in that way and to celebrate with our team together. Um, as well as alongside a lot of other really talented people in the industry, but just because the Oscars are over doesn't mean that Feeling Through is over. We have still been doing  we solve a number of screenings to do coming up a lot of conversations to be had, and a lot of future plans that we'll announce in more detail soon, but I just want to know personally  what are you hoping for in the near future and for the rest of this year?  

[Robert]: Again, I would love to continue doing these types of interviews. I'm going to relax. I'm going to spend time with my family. I'm really going to enjoy that again. Unfortunately, we did not win the Oscar, but at the same time, I think that everyone involved with Feeling Through are winners. And I think that we should just look toward the future. And for me, I don't know, maybe I'll be going back to New York. I really can't predict the future, but for right now, I'm just going to hope that we continue what we're doing. Continue these interviews and see if there are other opportunities for me to be invited into other productions, perhaps audition and see what happens. I really enjoyed the connection that we made and the last three years have just been amazing. So again, I don't think that the Oscars are the end for us, but what the future holds. I don't know. We'll see.  

[Doug]: Well, Robert  it's certainly been an absolute pleasure and joy to share in so many different experiences with you over the last three years. And to be at the Oscars with you  was just such an amazing, amazing evening. I was so happy again, this was a year where unfortunately, not as much as our team was able to come because of COVID, but to be there alongside you. My co-nominee Sue Ruzenski, who's the CEO of Helen Keller Services and a couple of other Marlee Matlin, and several other of our core team was really just such a treat. And I think just us being there  and getting to share in that evening together is really the big win and achievement regardless of taking home a statue or not, because that in and of itself to be standing on that carpet with you and our team was really just such an absolute honor. So I'm so glad we got to do that. You looked very sharp, Robert, the tux looked great. You were looking like a movie star and  I'm hoping for many more opportunities like that for you in the future. I hope some of them at least will be with me, but I hope for many more than that for you and very excited for what the future holds.  

[Robert]: Yes. Thank you so much. You are very welcome, Doug. At one day, you are going to be back up there again. I'm still holding my breath for part 2 Doug. Let's go, cause everybody on YouTube wants to know what happened. So there's gotta be a part two here somewhere, but nonetheless, I'm just very blessed to be a part of this and ready to see what happens in the future. And maybe one day we will have a part two. But I think everything nonetheless has been amazing and beautiful and who knows what the future holds, but we're going to keep our relationships and keep plugging along together and see where we end up. And again, I hope that HKNC is part of that. I hope that more deaf people are invited to the table, and I hope that we're all just more welcoming of each other as a culture and just look, and this is what I want to tell the world. Doug plucked me out of the kitchen. There are people out there like me that want to do this. So invite us into the setting. Don't be scared. Think about how you can utilize us, invite us to the table and start that connection and start building those relationships because that's how the world goes around. Those relationships happen each and every day. And I think that they're everlasting  

[Doug]: Well, Robert such a beautiful way to wrap up our conversation today with an amazing example of the poetry with which you speak at during these conversations now on a regular basis. Again, it's been such an honor to share in this experience with you, I'm excited for what we have planned for the future and  yeah, stay everyone stay tuned. There's still plenty of big things coming your way from the Feeling Through community and the Feeling Through team, and we're excited to share more things with you coming up. Awesome. So we'll  thanks for tuning in and  we'll see you all soon.  Love to everybody. Take care, everyone much love, bye now.