DOUG ROLAND: Welcome to episode 21 of Feeling Through Live. I am joined here today by Zaakirah. And we have a whole lot we are going to talk about today really. Zaakirah before we hop into things, say a quick hello and let us know where you are tuning in from.
ZAAKIRAH NAYYAR: Yes. My name is Zaakirah with a Z. I live in the Chattanooga Tennessee area at the moment. It is a beautiful day here near the mountains.
DOUG ROLAND: Excellent. I am coming from Los Angeles where it is about to be triple digits for the next few days. I am jealous of your nice mountain weather right now. Again you are so many things in an awesome way. You are a photographer, you are an author, you are a podcaster, you are a brand strategist and a cancer survivor. Clearly you have obviously in your young life lived many lives and done many things. I want to start at the beginning. Obviously we have an interesting title for this episode. I know you have shared this story before and it is something that kind of like is so interesting. I never knew anything about this before talking to you today. The title today is: Photography Saved My Life…Literally. There is no exaggeration here. So can you start off by walking us through why today's title is called that?
ZAAKIRAH NAYYAR: I guess I want to start off with thanking my mother. It was my mother's intuition and visceral feeling that allowed me to still be here today. It was a photograph that she took of me when I was 3 to 6 months old. Typically most moms photograph their newborn babies. But instead of seeing a red glow for red eye, instead she saw something white in my eyes. She first saw it in natural light and then saw it again when she took a photo and printed the photo. This is the day happened the print the photo at a convenience store. When she saw it, she had to -- took it the more than one coworker and doctor to really ask: Have you ever seen this before? Is this normal? It took my -- I think I had a 6 month newborn follow up. That pediatrician said there is nothing wrong here. You are worrying. A new mom worrying. My mom was not a new mom. I have an older sibling.
She got a referral to a specialist who then was able to pick up on the fact that this is retinal blastoma, cancer of the eye. If it is not detected or the surgery is not done now, it could lead to death. And basically three months later it was a whirlwind of connecting to another specialist, who performed the surgery to remove the right eye. I am actually only seeing you in one eye at this moment because it is a prosthetic eye. Though later on I was introduced to a camera at age 5. My mom gave me a camera. Ironically you know how you give some children something and they take it and run with it and you don't have to teach them anything else. It was almost like me with a camera at the age of 5. It is full circle now that I have my first DSLR camera -- digital single lens reflection. When I was in middle school and high school and college. I was able to study photography. I love to be able to capture the essence of humanity.
DOUG ROLAND: Thank you for sharing all of that. I want to walk through that bit by bit. Again, you are 6 months and old and your mother’s taking a photograph of you. Many mothers would do of their newborn child of wanting to photograph their development and in that photo your mom sees in your eyes rather than there being a red dot -- which we have all seen with flash plenty of times -- there was a white dot. What I find so interesting about this, if I saw a white dot in someone's eyes in a photo I would think: The camera did a weird thing. I wouldn't even think twice about it. In this case your mom did. Do you know what -- was she familiar with that being a warning sign beforehand? What prompted her to look into that more?
ZAAKIRAH NAYYAR: This was before technology before cell phones and PhotoShop. Something like that was not normal at all. But before that she saw it in the sunlight when I was playing in the sun and the sun hit my pupils. Wait a minute. When it showed up and took the picture and saw the printed photo, it was hearing a reinforcement of this is not right. I think first it happened with seeing it in natural sunlight looking at my eye first and then she was able to reiterate and say: I have to do something about this.
DOUG ROLAND: First off I have to hand it to your mom for being that perceptive. Particularly mothers are perceptive to their young children. Kudos to her. I imagine that is something that is easy to go undetected by a lot of people. So she sees it in the sunlight and in the photo, from there do you know if she went straight to a doctor or what were the next steps from there trying to figure out what was happening?
ZAAKIRAH NAYYAR: Until it was time for the every 3 month check up, she was asking friends and family and co-workers and: Have you ever seen this before? Doing her own research. She loves libraries and doing her own research. Then by the time it was confirmed. Pediatrician initially said there was nothing wrong. When she got the referral to go to a specialist to get the confirmation, yes this is early stages of retinal blastoma cancer. I feel like emotionally that began to kick in for her. I am about to have a baby with not just two beautiful eyes but now one eye. We have to go through surgery. Now it is like almost giving fourth her all over again. Now she has to relearn how to walk and talk and just navigate through unspoken traumas too.
DOUG ROLAND: Well again, good moral of the story, if you have a gut feeling something is going on, to not stop at the first diagnosis there saying that oh yeah everything is fine. Obviously she felt there was something to look into. Good on her again for following through on that. Then she gets this diagnosis. This was obviously quite a while ago. You were a baby at the time. At the time of the diagnosis, how serious is a cancer like that? How dangerous is that type of cancer? It is pretty rare is that correct?
ZAAKIRAH NAYYAR: Yes it is.
DOUG ROLAND: I had never heard of it. I imagine there are a lot of people that don't know about it. At that point where you are diagnosed a number of years ago. How serious is that?
ZAAKIRAH NAYYAR: The survival rate is not high. The typical age is 5 years old. Most children did not make it beyond 5 years old. Back then it was rare. Now it is harder -- it is easier in a way to detect it early on because of technology. Now the survival rate is 95%, which is great for technology. But back then, it was very rare and it was difficult to also for my mom to find that community of anybody else who -- does anybody else have it or does anybody else know about this? It definitely took a little while of continuing to research. She researched the community to find a couple of other moms who had been through it. And one of them was Joey Bergsma -- the grandmother of Joey Bergsma, who started a foundation to make sure it is important that pediatricians actually make it a requirement to check the eyes. Because most pediatricians at that time were not doing that. To scan the eye. She fought through the legislature to make sure that the law was passed. That pediatricians check the eyes.
DOUG ROLAND: At the time you got diagnosed, it's not a good survival rate. Fortunately that's changed with technology. But at the time it is quite low. Was your mom -- when the diagnosis came in, was your mom at that time aware of how severe of a diagnosis that was?
ZAAKIRAH NAYYAR: Because of the doctors expressed that and I give kudo to my doctor for telling like it is. To the doctor telling nothing the wrong to the opposite telling it like it is. That is what is so interesting. Put it all out there and gave my mom and dad time to reflect on it before the surgery. But she was informed and also kudos to medical libraries as well to kind of understand it in layman's terms. Sure you hear the name of the cancer and you hear the survival rate and the side effects. But how do you really process that in a way that could easily be understood?
DOUG ROLAND: Uh-huh. Again, I would imagine that having found it so early probably helped your chances here. To what I understand is that the removal of your eye was to keep it from spreading to other parts of your body? In that sense being able to detect it and follow it so early helped your chances of it not spreading and becoming a more serious cancer.
ZAAKIRAH NAYYAR: First the surgery of removing the eye. Now technology has improved to where you don't necessarily remove the eye but the tumor. For me the eye removed and I had a period of incubation to have radiation treatment on the eye to try to help reduce the chances of it coming back. As a result, even though the surgery was successful and I was dubbed a miracle baby, even surgery is risky as well. Aside from that, I have regular checkups. When I was a young girl it was every 6 months. When I got older it was annually. I have regular checkups to make sure that it has not grown or spread. It is possible because of the side effects of the radiation that the cancer can spread to other parts of the body. Such as having secondary cancers.
DOUG ROLAND: And again like you were saying, it was the radiation that caused the hearing loss.
ZAAKIRAH NAYYAR: Yes.
DOUG ROLAND: That was entirely from the radiation. Nothing hereditary about that?
ZAAKIRAH NAYYAR: Yes. Not hereditary. From the radiation. It caused a mild hearing loss. It is still declining to this day but thank goodness for technology and hearing aids.
DOUG ROLAND: Obviously thinking from a mother’s perspective here. And I want to touch on the miracle baby of that too. I’ll get to that in a moment. Have you ever had a conversation with your mom about what it was like with such a young child to first find out about this cancer diagnosis? And then kind go through the roller coaster that is the cancer diagnosis? And then through the radiation, learn about the hearing loss. Again you are still a baby at this time I imagine when the hearing loss comes in. Have you ever had a conversation with your mom about what that experience is like of kind of like going from one moment having no warning signs of anything to another having gone through a significant surgery around cancer and hearing loss as a result of radiation? What was her experience at that time?
ZAAKIRAH NAYYAR: According to her mother the first time I ever asked about it, I was between 5 to 7 years old. Because of the experiences of school. By the time I get to school, when I was introduced to the fact that I am a girl who is blind in one eye. I am a girl who looks like she has a lazy eye. People asked me: What is wrong with your eye? I did not see anything wrong with it. My mom did not see myself in that way. First she did I asked her: Was I born this way? That was the first initial conversation. Where she then showed me the photograph that helped to detect the cancer, the one where she first saw the white glow in the eye. And second we wrote a book about it. She talked about her perspective. She wrote about it, we have an audio book about it. Called: Seeing Life Through a Different Lens: a Survivor's Memoir On Overcoming Adversity with Resiliance. We are going in chronological order in the book from the womb up to age 5. Once again the survival rate is up to age 5 most children didn't survive past 5. We talked about that. She had the first part of the book that we talk about that from the parental perspective if moms or dads who are listening want to read how she felt about how it is going on.
DOUG ROLAND: We are going to get to your book in more detail. You have it behind you. If you want to hold that forward and show everyone.
ZAAKIRAH NAYYAR: This is it looks like if you want to check it out. I have it on my own website. But Amazon is available and audio book is available too. Seeing Life Through a Different Lens. My mom's favorite color is purple. That is why we chose that. The designer chose a cloud based off of the reading -- it was a sunny day in this paragraph.
DOUG ROLAND: Sure. Artistic choice. Again I find this such an amazing story. Not, obviously fighting really low odds at the very start of your life -- obviously the kind of really miraculous way in which your cancer was detected in the first place, but also because not only was it quite literally again a camera that saved your life as a baby, but you have become a professional photographer yourself. You obviously have a very, very unique relationship to cameras and photography. But can you -- I know you were starting to go through the bullet points of that. Can you walk us through how you came into photography.
ZAAKIRAH NAYYAR: Yes. After receiving my first camera, which was a Kodak Polaroid camera, that was age 5. My mom and dad loved to take summer road trips. That was my first time taking pictures of everything. Then my next camera that was introduced to was the camera that you take to the convenience store. Take a photograph, don't know if it is a good photograph or not until it is developed. But ironically I have this one memory that's showing up at the top of my head right now. My mom is from New York. Sometimes took me back to where she grew up. One day went on a tour of her favorite side of town. There was a favorite TV show that I loved to watch. She said this is where it was filmed. We were moving very, very fast. And I wanted a photograph of it. All I did was bring the camera and took a picture. She said how do you know you got it? I know I did. Ironically when it came out a week letter it was a very good photograph. That was the second camera. The third camera in middle school is when I got the opportunity to go out of the country to my first ever out of country trip. A study abroad program for one week. I got to be with other deaf students or they were hard of hearing or sign language enthusiasts. That was any first time being around others in utilized the sign language that I did learn. That's when I got another camera that has video capabilities. At the end of that trip, everyone who did not know sign language, mastered how to sign their name. That was fun. And then after that is when I also learned about film. And darkroom photography. So high school we had one course about that. Before moving to the digital camera that you see out there today. That was where I ended up realizing that I could literally make a difference with this camera. My voice can be with this camera. Even though it had been full circle all of my life, it wasn't until high school that I realized that I could actually make a living off of this.
DOUG ROLAND: I am wondering, there are a lot of artists that we learn about, painters per say. Sometimes -- my brother is going to kill me. He is an art historian guy and artist himself. The fact that I am not recalling this famous painter he is going to kill me. There was one famous painter that I should know that his style historians say was very much informed by -- I don't know if he is nearsighted or farsighted with his eyesight that created his style that ended up being his signature. Do you find being a photographer coming from a unique perspective having one eye does that come through from your photography? From an artistic or technical standpoint? Do you find ways that informed your approach as a photographer.
ZAAKIRAH NAYYAR: Yes actually. The first thing that comes to my mind when living in Washington, D.C. to study professional photography, I was with a family friend who was also a photographer. One day we went out and about and did street photography. And we took a few photos before lunch break and during lunch break I showed him some of my photos. He made this comment that has stuck with me for years of saying: You actually by default have the photographer's eye. If you think about it, before smart phone photography, the way to see the photograph is looking in the view finder. That requires you looking in with one eye only. Most people are squinting to see the photograph. But me I don't have to. I see it with one eye. That I think kind of did attribute to always seeing a photograph any way after school my eyes were trained in that way. But by default I have the photographer's eye.
DOUG ROLAND: I love that. You know what’s so funny, even as someone, myself, as a filmmaker and certainly stared through the barrel of a lens plenty of times. I never thought of it that way. Again we are closing one eye to see what a picture will look like to get that dimension that will more be simulate a camera lens. That is how you see the world. Quite literally as a photographer, as a photographic lens. That's so interesting. I genuinely -- now that you say it it is quite obvious in a lot of ways. But I never would have thought about it without you laying that out. That is really interesting. I am really curious. You mentioned before when you were talking about your story, it was hard to find people that had your experience or similar to your experience. Obviously to relate that to the deafblind community something that I learned a lot through this platform of Feeling Through Live, talking to a lot of different people in the community, that obviously the deafblind community has quite a variance to it in the spectrum of manifestations of it. Oftentimes I have heard that echo that there are certain manifestations people feel like they can't find someone that is like their, living their specific experience. Can you talk a little bit more about what it's like growing up, on the one hand feeling that no one else is quite having the same experience as you were? Is that a fair way to put it even? I don't want to put words in your mouth.
ZAAKIRAH NAYYAR: That is definitely a fair way to put it. For the longest time I always felt like I am the only one. I am multi-dimensional anyways. As a woman and African-American and cancer survivor and the religious factor I practice the religion of Islam. I technically am the only one. But I always want to rewind and you mentioned Emily, who is watching. And she's not only connected us, but also connected my mom to that community of other resources for me to have the ADA resources that I really needed in both my private schools, technical schools, charter schools and the whole bit. Through Emily also is when I also got to meet other African-American females who had the same exact same cancer that I had. May their souls rest in peace. There are a couple that have already passed on. It was so exciting to spend that time with them of wow, we have so much in common. Wow I am not the only one. Wow we went through the same exact thing. And wow, my life has more purpose now because I am still standing and I feel like also they are my angels of I get to continue to live the life fully because they didn't get the opportunity to do so. Once I did meet other African-American women and African-American men who had the same cancer that I had, it was really exciting. But at the same time I am still the only one considering also that I would like to still have vision. I have one vision in one eye. Most of them are already completely blind. Some are completely deaf. For me I am hearing. I can hear you, I can read your lips and I can understand you. You know. As a result it is also attributed to not only the confidence but also the having the accessibility of being able to still speak and write and podcast and the whole bit.
DOUG ROLAND: And just from the opportunity that is we have had to connect so far and obviously learning more about you today as well, you seem like someone who is really resilient and really able to operate in kind of any setting I imagine. Is there something particularly important about finding community that's specifically has a very similar shared experience? Does that add another dimension that you can't really get in other places?
ZAAKIRAH NAYYAR: Yes and no. Because once again we are all the same. Under all of the layers we are all the same. But at the same time it's like marrying. When you find your own half it is literally exciting and more relatable and more exhilarating. I think that is also why it is important for me to find that sense of community for the moment where I do feel like I am comparing myself to those who are not similar to me. I think about the fact that there are people who I can talk to and they understand what I am going through. Because we literally are going through the exact same thing.
DOUG ROLAND: Uh-huh. I am going to take a quick pause for an interpreter shift here. Alana, we are good to go? Great. Continuing here. Kind of related to this, but I want to touch on this before we move into all of the awesome stuff that you are doing now. Before I get into that, if you are watching we have a good bit left to our really interesting conversation. If you are watching on Facebook share this episode it helps. YouTube feel free to send a link to people. We have plenty of left in this conversation. If you have any questions throughout the rest of this, type in the chat box or comment as you are is great as well. Continuing here, to borrow your words here -- I think they are apt ones. You are a miracle baby. Quite literally given the odds of what the cancer that you had was at that time. And it is obviously something that you have also described that your mom told it how it is when you asked her questions as a young kid. I am using quotation marks around "miracle kid." But how do you feel being this miracle baby beating the odds just to be here? How do you feel this informed your life thus far?
ZAAKIRAH NAYYAR: I want to say the first person who coined the term "miracle baby" was the doctor that performed the surgery. He coined it first. For me I didn't take it into full consideration or understand the full capacity of it until I started to speak on it in my own words. Instead of being bullied by the fact that I have one eye or so called lazy eye or four eye -- because I wear protective glasses when I am out and about. But in my own words I took it to my own to say I am a cancer survivor. I survived more than you can imagine. It wasn't until I started to speak up and advocate for myself I began to believe the word "miracle and survivor" and understand how powerful and full of resilience I do have and how much I live a life on purpose. Because also not only did I get that from my mom, have fun celebrate your birthday all the time or travel to the place that is you want to go to, do the things that you want to do. Because tomorrow is truly not promised. Especially for my type of cancer. Even though I am in remission now, I am in good health, anything can change at the very moment.
DOUG ROLAND: Is that something -- you said you are going for somewhat regular checkups for that specifically. Is that something that you think about a lot? Or is it just so much part of your life that kind of you go about it and it is what it is? What is your relationship to that at this point?
ZAAKIRAH NAYYAR: It is a little bit of both. I have actually had people ask me, how are you so laid back about all of this? I’m like, well, I have been dealing with it for a very, very long time. Two, I am very self-aware. And three, whatever happens happens. Yes I do take the precautions of going to a doctor regularly. But then I also am confident in my purpose also to not try to let it dwell in my every single day. But it does get hard sometimes of just wondering what if or just wondering when is the day will come and what happens if I do fully lose my hearing or fully lose my vision or anything else could happen.
DOUG ROLAND: Do you find any connection between again your miracle baby origins and your faith? Do those intertwine in any way for you.
ZAAKIRAH NAYYAR: Yes actually. Very much so. My parents instilled in me at a very young age the power of prayer. That is something that my mom wrote about in the book while they were waiting for me to get out of surgery the doctor led them to a prayer room to spend time in prayer and spend time in nature and also learn how to meditate. Just understand that it is what it is. I accept the things that you cannot change but have the strength and courage to speak up on the things that you can.
DOUG ROLAND: Yeah. Well said. You've obviously seem like you don't take life for granted. You are invested in a lot of different things. I want to kind of talk about all of the things you are doing. We started to talk about your book. Why don't we go into that first. Again, you are an author, podcaster, brand strategist, a photographer. But talk about the author side. How did that book -- again it is autobiographical. Telling your personal story. How did that book come about?
ZAAKIRAH NAYYAR: Technically it was my mom's idea first. She said that when I was younger I asked her: When are you going to write my story? Technically she was doing that. She had her journal for 18 years of my life and documented as often as possible the day in the life of Z. And then she did get the opportunity to start her own medical blog. She did a blog from the medical perspective, which was great. Doing much better than me. Because I started blogging about my travels. And then she got the opportunity to have that book published through got to send the manuscript off to a publisher. Then sent it to me for my approval. But as I was reading it, I felt like something was missing. I said I think there is some way we can tweak this and change it. And she was: Have at it. This is your story. That is when it came about also. I realized oh I shouldn't have done that. Now I have to hear and talk about my story in the life that I am not used to. It worked out that officially 2018, 2019, when my mom and I both agreed to disagree and sat down on what we wanted to share in the book and how we wanted it to be not only just for all cancer survivors -- whether you have retinal blastoma or RB or a different kind of cancer. There are a lot of other childhood cancers. September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. So we wanted to kind of generalize the book to be more on the modern perspective, but also on the lines of books like Diary of Anne Frank and Chicken Soup For the Soul. I had those when I grew up. That is where we tweaked it a little bit and thankfully the Amazon reviews said so far: I am not a cancer survivor but I needed this book.
DOUG ROLAND: I love to hear that. You made a mention about this before. But in the process of looking back and writing about your experiences thus far, did you see things differently kind of looking back at them? And how did that -- what was that experience like for you and what affect did it have to go back to the beginning of your life and really sit with these events in order to be able to relay them to other people? What was that like, that experience?
ZAAKIRAH NAYYAR: It was definitely hard. But also healing. I had to realize it was my therapy too. My way to heal in order for me to heal before I can fully help someone else. Then with reflecting, I was able to realize that there's always been little bits and pieces that followed and stayed with me in a sense of always being optimistic, always being happy go lucky type of girl and always being creative. I always loved to create. Even though I love music, even though of course it is hard to pick up on understanding lyrics, I also love to just create and write and story tell. I then was able to realize how, how much everything connected. Dots were connected. I loved being able to realize that when I reflected before the book was published. How everything was a puzzle piece being connected. Also because I was an only child growing up. I am not the only sibling. But I am the only child growing up. I spent a lot of time by myself.
DOUG ROLAND: I am going to hold one more second for another interpreter switch real quick here I think Alana is going to adjust her lighting. Let me -- great. Are we good? You are good to go still? That's helpful. Great. I am going to switch back one second here. All set. Great, perfect. More light. Did the book come before the podcasting? Or did those kind of happen simultaneously maybe?
ZAAKIRAH NAYYAR: Kind of coincidentally it is a marketing strategy I learned as well. If I knew I am going to get more people to understand my story and also for me to be practice talk about my story, the podcast came first and then the book came later. The first season -- if you listen back to episode one of The Living Legacy podcast -- which now the theme is woman of purpose and stories of resilience. I talk to other creative and business owners and women of faith. But the first season started out with solo episodes talking about the cancer and hearing loss and talking about my religious feat as well. I got to interview any dad and enter few my mom as well (faith) it started out as a marketing tactic to get more people aware of cancer and who I am aside from how they knew me as the photographer and brand strategist -- however they knew me. It was my way to be able to tell my story before the book came out. That helps to be more confident in speaking up about it.
DOUG ROLAND: About that podcast, again I was telling you before we got started I have had the privilege to listen to a bunch of episodes you. That is really great. Where can people find that?
ZAAKIRAH NAYYAR: The Living Legacy podcast is everywhere. On I Heart Radio, Apple, Spotify, Stitcher, Pandora. There are a few place to listen without having to log in. Tune in is an option too. Anywhere you can Google search "Living Legacy Podcast" and you will be able to find it.
DOUG ROLAND: Awesome. It is really great. You obviously really know what you are doing, not just as a host but technically it is great well put together. I imagine you have been fighting some urges not to take over as host being on the other side of the coin getting interviewed. Again you were talking about the focus now particularly -- obviously -- not obviously but obvious to me because I have listened to it. You have shared a lot of your personal journey through that platform as well. But a lot of your focus as of late is focusing on women of resilience and purpose. And I am wondering what kind of moved you to really want to make it a platform specifically for that at this point?
ZAAKIRAH NAYYAR: That is a good question. I am trying to remember how it started. I have always been a people person. I always valued connection and relationships in that way. It started out with finding ways to include the people that I know and love on the podcast and people loved that. I think my first couple of guests were of course my dad then my first guest on episode 3 when I got to travel to Ghana west Africa, to interview a friend of my dad. So we met and she become my auntie in Washington, D.C. while I was living out there, you know, new to student living, and the whole bit. So after that I got to interview her. My first few guests were people I know and love. That became a theme as I continued my season and join more Facebook groups and connect with other amazing women who were just as creative as I was. That kept the podcast going as well. Those types of guests. Like any other favorite talk show, people love to see those interactions. I think that is how it continued, including the people that I know and love. That know me. And then we got to converse and have it -- have a recorder with us. We have so many amazing conversations behind closed doors. Have a recorder and publicly display it. Affection in that way.
DOUG ROLAND: It is knowing a lot of great interesting people, having great conversations and going like we should record this. I feel like a other people would appreciate that. Sounds like an element of that.
ZAAKIRAH NAYYAR: Exactly.
DOUG ROLAND: This is kind of connected to the theme of the women that you feature on your podcast. But I am wondering, you had mentioned your intersectionality as a women who is of the disability community, who is African American, who is of Islamic faith, and as a woman. Obviously a lot of what is happening right now very much exemplified through Black Lives Matter but obviously offshoots of that have been growing as far as Black disabled lives matter or hash tag disabled lives matter. But variations of that. You uniquely fall into a lot of those categories of those communities that are really starting to get more focused. And get louder voices. That have been kind of historically under represented and not have had some of the platforms that are growing right now. What's your relationship to that been particularly over the last several months?
ZAAKIRAH NAYYAR: I think there's a phrase -- it was a meme that showed up on the web. Talked about Millennials in general. I am a Millennial. It showed this meme of how Millennials are basically numb to it all because it is so much and happening so often. But it doesn't mean that we don't feel it or don't relate to it. For me as a deafblind woman, I feel even more so for those who are deaf and they do get pulled over by the police and the police are ignorant in the sense if they don't know that someone is hard of hearing. So if they don't know sign, they would assume it is a gang sign or if someone is not responding because they don't understand what they are saying or they don't speak, that they think that they are trying to disobey. Moments like that connect more to me because just a matter of having that understanding, that awareness of okay, this person is just different not trying to break my rules in that way. Also I think the options out there that you can have a card with you in your wallet when you take your wallet out to say "I am deaf and hard of hearing" I am not ignoring you. And in my case I am speak up and say if they don't see my hearing aids when I turn to get my ID sorry I am hard of hearing. I may have a hard time hearing you. Please speak up. I think that is the most important thing as well and being advocates for those who cannot speak up. It is close to my heart.
DOUG ROLAND: You make me think of a friend of mine a young Black man wanted to celebrate his birthday by doing a road trip across the country to see a lot of places. All of the Black women in his life talked him out of that. He is hard of hearing as well. They said you are just kind of playing with fire there. To speak to what you are saying, kind of that double layed danger if you are a person of color and also hard of hearing in a situation like that is an unfortunate reality but a reality nonetheless to be very aware of to know how that endangers you in a situation and how to do your best to counteract that. I think that is something for me and a lot of people out there, it's been recently a very eye opening experience to learn about the prevalence of that. For people like myself who don't have to deal -- who don't have that experience and don't deal with that on a moment to moment basis. For me it was just something in dialoguing with him about that I found really impactful, that it's just a juxtaposition between such an innocent desire to celebrate a birthday by having a road trip and driving and seeing a lot of people and it being not safe to do something like that. That resonated with me. That is something that I personally would have the privilege to not think twice about it.
ZAAKIRAH NAYYAR: For me the advice to give, not necessarily let it stop you but still be very aware. I think for me also, it would interesting because my first out of country trip, I never wanted to be alone for that exact reason. One interacting with people that don't understand. If I don't understand them they think I am ignoring them. But my suggestion is not let it stop you. Utilize the resources from ADA, American Cancer Society, that tell you how to really interact with and what tools to keep with you. Not to fully travel alone. I never really did solo trips. My only so called solo trip was South Africa. That is the last place I went to before all of this went down.
DOUG ROLAND: That is a good last place to go to.
ZAAKIRAH NAYYAR: But it was fun and I felt safe. It was a English speaking country. I was never alone. Now there is a power of Facebook group. I could meet up. Is anybody going to be on this side of town today? I want to eat. I don't have to be fully alone. Turn that state in my mind no matter where I traveled to, I heavily trust the buddy system. It was different because some may see it as being co-dependent in that way. But at the same time I am very much independent. As long as I can have even when I drive today in the U.S., I have my location on, if I was in an Uber, I will send my location to someone and also thank goodness for Uber. I was driving with them for a little while. That was fun. I love driving. My dad loves driving. I got it from him. There is a feature on there where I could say: I am hard of hearing. It was fun because they would -- most riders did not understand how hard of hearing I was. By the time they get in the car and they hear me say hi to them, oh I thought they said you are deaf. Deaf or hard of hearing. I am the latter.
It was always a good experience of being able to have that feature of I am hard of hearing. At least that gives people to understanding of saying are you hearing or do I need to sign or especially in the case I do eventually lose my vision, do you need braille? When I do need it to speak and tell my story, things of that sort. Great with technology in this time and age to have those features available.
DOUG ROLAND: Yeah. I noticed a couple of times when I got into Ubers I got that message. It is great they do that. To touch on the point you were just saying, you get in and hear someone and they say I thought you were deaf. Not really understanding again the different manifestations of that. Again I am sure that is something that you encounter in a dual way as someone who is hard of hearing and also sees through one eye, how often -- what is it like encountering new people and kind of you know continually -- I imagine there are a lot of people who don't really understand that like kind of think of it as a binary thing. Either you see or you are blind. Either you hear or you are deaf. Obviously you are certainly on the spectrum in both of those categories. Is that something that you have to keep explaining to people? And if so, do you have a good spiel down for that? Is it frustrating?
ZAAKIRAH NAYYAR: It is still a challenge. Especially in the online world if you put the words "deafblind" how are you able to see what you are typing or hear what the person is saying? I do have to explain it in a sense of that I can still see you and still hear you. Even when it was time for me to work -- I occasionally work part-time jobs -- when I was working my HR managers know and managers know. When I interact with co-workers I tell them. Most of the people want to talk soft especially when they gossip and not look at you and when their back is to you. I want to understand what you are saying. I wear hearing aids and I have to advocate for myself in that way. It is not something easy. Not necessarily something that I brag about, but I have become more comfortable with speaking confidently on. I am sure that's something that when you have to do it over and over again it is something that you have to kind of get used to I would imagine. So with the time left, I would love to touch on the brand strategist side of yourself. I know that's something that has been a growing part of your life. Can you tell us a little bit more about your work in that space?
ZAAKIRAH NAYYAR: Yes. Officially in 2018 I started a creative marketing agency called Phocus Media Group, focus with the “P-H.” I started it because I wanted it to be more inclusive for other creatives and photographers to have the opportunity that I have had to photograph events and travels and celebrities. But I realized as I started learning more about Facebook and Instagram, I realized that there are other small businesses who need to understand how to use it for their own business. And that's when I was able to also take what I love of being creative -- not only photographing but loving things that are colorful and put all of that into one. Of course I take my podcasting skills and do that because I learned how to do videography a little bit and I helped people learn to blog about it. Creating marketing agency was full circle for me. What I spend a lot of my time doing now in 2020 on the computer a lot, typing a lot, thank goodness for zoom that I have video and read their lips and don't have to mention hard of hearing if I don't have to. To continue to work in that way. That is fun. A great way to interact. I think that's what it is full circle that I do as a brand strategist. I love to always work with women. Because the defect thing about the pay wage gap between men and women. I make sure that I work with women when I have my team members and whatnot. And also in a sense of sometimes my clientele I love to work with women as well. I understand as moms they are very busy. That's what I do as a brand strategist and a business owner.
DOUG ROLAND: Like you said, someone who is multi-talented as you are, it is a nice way to bring all of the skill sets together to use for one common goal. I understand too -- I saw because we follow each other on social media -- I saw you are working in the A&R world as well?
ZAAKIRAH NAYYAR: Yes.
DOUG ROLAND: Can you tell me a little about that?
ZAAKIRAH NAYYAR: Yeah. That's been an incredible opportunity. Going back to my first favorite songs were from sound track movies. I was one of the kids that were in front of the TV. Glued. Not because I could hear it but because if I loved something I was glued to the TV. I was always like that with music. Music was playing in the room with my mom and on the road trip. And thank goodness I have had the opportunity to attend music festivals. I miss those. Those were the best opportunities for deaf or hard of hearing. You don't have to hear anybody talk, you hit literally feel the music through your chest. Ironically because it is a huge part of my life and still blessed to hear music, I am able to support independent music artist to get their music out there. If I hear a new artist -- this is before the days of Spotify -- if I listen to the album I can predict what their single will be before they release it. I am 99% of the time right. I like to be able to do that for music artists to get music out that there people like. I love to choose the 90 types of music. All genres really. But I feel like that was the best era, at least for me. If we can find artists that passionate about music as much as I am about photography, I feel like I have done my job as an A&R or artist and repertoire, basically the one that scouts or finds music talent for -- I want to say labels in this way, they are intentionally independent. But more ways of exposure.
DOUG ROLAND: I am really interested to see what other roles you add to your life here. We are adding up those slashes on a daily basis here. But again, it is something that you are obviously someone who is passionate about life and just comes out in a lot of different spaces. But, yeah, it's been such a pleasure talking to you today. We are going to have to connect again at some point in the future. I am sure there is plenty left to discuss. Thanks for sharing everything that you did today. I learned a whole lot from our conversation today. I hope people watching got a lot out of it as well. One last time, grab that book and end with a little bit of -- why don't you plug that one more time and anything else that you want to direct people to.
ZAAKIRAH NAYYAR: This book is Seeing Life Through a Different Lens. You can find it on Amazon. I also have website you can find my social media on my website. You can also find my other services on my website. And it's my first name and my middle name dot com. zaakirahnayyar.com. That's where you can find everything and I love to read messages, especially when you love -- what part you love about the book or the podcast. Because I am a creator. These are all my babies. I want to make sure that my babies are doing okay. I love to receive those types of love notes. That's great.
DOUG ROLAND: Love it. Thanks again for joining us today. Thank you everyone who tuned in. A reminder for those who want to check out The Feeling Through Experience we are doing another live stream of that September 12th, 4pm pacific time, 7:00pm eastern time. It is free. Just go to feelingthrough.com/register to sign up for the free e-ticket. It’s going to be awesome. We have great guest, I mean panelists joining us for that installment of The Feeling Through Experience. If you know what it is and seen it before -- come join us. If you are not sure what it is, go to feelingthrough.com where you can learn more about it. And, yeah, we'll see you for Feeling Through Live next Friday same time same place. Until then have a great weekend. Bye.